Imagine All Your Rights Being Treated Like Your Right To Keep And Bear Arms

AP_Documents_BillofRights

In Texas, in order to carry a handgun, Texans must obtain a state-issued license that costs in excess of $200.  You can’t openly carry a handgun at all (NOTE: Except on your private property and a few other specific instances), unlike 45 other states. A thin piece of fabric is all that separates you from being a law-abiding citizen or a “criminal.”  Can you imagine if all your rights were treated this way?

In order to write a letter to the editor, comment on Facebook, post a blog, go to church, protest government corruption, assemble for a common cause, or petition the government for a redress of grievances, you must first acquire an FSL (Freedom of Speech License) that costs over $200.  Additionally, you can’t have been convicted of a Class B misdemeanor or higher (regardless of violation) in the past 5 years, must be current on school loans and child support, and must be at least 21 years old.takes place over 1,000 years ago

In order to ensure that troops aren’t quartered in your home, you must first acquire a Troop Repellent License license that costs over $200 and you can’t have been convicted of a Class B misdemeanor or higher (regardless of violation) in the past 5 years, must be current on school loans and child support, and must be at least 21 years old.

In order to ensure that you are secure in your person, house, papers, and effects against unreasonable searches and seizures, you must first obtain a license that costs over $200.  Upon encountering a law enforcement officer and told that he is going to search you without cause, you must present your drivers license and Search and Seizure Protection License to avoid the invasive action. A warrant would only be required for those in possession of the SSPL.

To enjoy protection from double jeopardy after being found innocent of a crime, you must first get a $200 Double Jeopardy License, otherwise the state can prosecute you as many times as it takes to get a guilty verdict. In addition to a DJL, you must also secure a SIL (Self Incrimination License) or you will be required to testify against yourself. A $250 DPL (Due Process License) will ensure that you are not deprived of life, liberty or property.  This license was formerly known as the PAL (Patriot Act License). A Private Property License is the only way to ensure that the State of Texas doesn’t take your property and just laugh when you ask for compensation.

The $200 Criminal Prosecution License (CPL) recognizes that you are entitled to an attorney, that the state doesn’t hold a secret trial against you five years after you’re falsely arrested (assuming you don’t have a SSPL). Witnesses against you are protected from cross examination unless you have a current CPL.

After being trained on the duties of jurors and proving that you haven’t ignored a jury summons in the past five years, you can go to your nearest courthouse to obtain a $200 Jury Trial License that recognizes your right to a trial by jury.

Are you sensitive to pain and suffering?  Have no fear.  Texas would offer a $200 CUPL (Cruel and Unusual Punishment License) once you successfully pass SERE training.  Texans refusing to secure a CUPL will find themselves working in the oil fields without pay wearing only a pink slenderman suit.

In order to protect those rights that are not enumerated in the constitution, but that you retain as a living being, a $1500 RPL (Rights Protection License).

But, have no fear.  In order for Texas to enjoy state sovereignty, they are also required to obtain a license.  For a small fee of just $2,500,000, Texas can obtain a SSL (State Sovereignty License) to protect from federal encroachment.  It must first complete training that hasn’t been identified yet and meet certain criteria they can’t discern.

The Not A Slave License protects you from being involuntarily subjected to slavery. For an additional $650 (on top of the $200 license), you can even own slaves – those that don’t have an NSL.

In order to vote, you must present your driver license and $200 VCL (voters certification license). If you’re poor or elderly, you would only have to pay $150 after proving that you graduated from civics training and understand how our system of government works.  You must also pass a separate range qualification that tests your knowledge on political issues presented on the ballot for any given election.

This is what the country would look like if every right was treated like your 2nd Amendment rights.  Support more gun rights for Texas. #SupportHB195.

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2 thoughts on “Imagine All Your Rights Being Treated Like Your Right To Keep And Bear Arms

  1. Pingback: Grab Bag 5 | Midnight Run

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